


Crossing The Line

by camichats



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, First Time - Freeform, M/M, Sexual Content, Trans Sirius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:36:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Sirius feels guilty and Harry talk to him about it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> (reposting from when this work was deleted)

Harry crept out of his and Ron’s room, shutting the door gently as if Ron didn’t sleep like the dead. Harry tensed at his own comparison and couldn’t help opening the door again just to make sure his best friend was still alive-- ever since Sirius had nearly fallen through the Veil, Harry knew he had become slightly paranoid, but no one blamed him for it with the way his life went. With a sigh of relief, he left, padding down the stairs and wondering where he should check first. 

He would be leaving for Hogwarts in a month, and he was not happy about it. At some point during the summer, he’d stopped thinking of Hogwarts as his home, and started thinking of home as Sirius. He knew that the castle would still comfort him since it had been the first place he had thought of as home, but now… he just wanted to be with Sirius. 

Harry decided to check Sirius’s room first because it was the first place he passed, but he didn’t actually expect an answer when he knocked. 

“Come in.” 

Harry froze for a moment in surprise, then entered. 

Sirius was sat on his bed, staring at the piece of paper he held in his hands. When the door snicked closed, he glanced up with a sad smile. “Hi pup.” 

“Hi. What are you looking at?” he asked, walking over and sitting on the bed next to him, close enough that their sides were touching. 

Sirius shifted away under the guise of resituating to the new weight, and Harry frowned. He tilted the picture so Harry could see it. Sirius was young, joyous, and alternately staring at the newborn baby he was holding (swathed so only its face was visible) and the person behind the camera, mouth moving as he spoke. “This was the first time I held you.” 

“Sirius…” Harry struggled to find the words. “The life you thought you’d be leading in this,” he gestured to the picture, “isn’t the same one you lived. You can’t feel guilty about us because of shite like this.” Harry gently took the picture from Sirius and stared at the Sirius in the photo: young, healthy, happy. “What were you saying?” 

“James was the one taking the picture. I told him I finally found someone I loved more than him.” 

Harry smiled softly. “How’d he respond?” 

“I don’t really remember. I think he just laughed. Maybe made some joke about ‘well, we’ll see’.” 

“Nothing turned out the way you thought, did it?” He stood and placed the picture on the unused desk, disturbing some of the dust that had collected since the last time it had been cleaned. “You lost James, lost me for a while, and now that you have me we don’t think of each other like godfather and godson.” 

“No,” he agreed. “Nothing happened the way it should’ve. Don’t you think it’s a bit… wrong, though?” 

Harry had been bothered the first time Sirius had talked like this, before he realised that it was guilt for James and Lily. He would be lying if he said it didn’t effect him at all when Sirius had these insecurities crop back up, but he was able to deal with it far better than when it first happened when they got together over winter break. He cocked an eyebrow, trying to add a lighthearted air to the conversation. “No more wrong than Remus dating Tonks. I mean, she’s your cousin, and you and Moony  _ did _ used to date.” 

It had the desired effect, and Sirius chuckled. “Not technically a cousin, Dora’s my first cousin once removed, I think it is.” 

Harry moved back to the bed and sat next to him, internally cheering when he didn’t shift away again. “Details, details.” 

Sirius wound an arm around his waist, previous melancholy all but forgotten for the moment. “How did you like your birthday?” His thumb rubbed back and forth, the movement an unconscious decision as so many small gestures were with Sirius. 

Harry smiled widely. “It was great; I loved it.” 

Sirius hummed. “Good.” He kissed Harry’s cheek, who then turned his head for a proper kiss. Sirius licked at Harry’s bottom lip, and he groaned while opening his mouth in response. 

It didn’t take long for Harry’s cock to fill, and while Sirius always attributed it to his age, Harry thought more of it being that his body was covered with Sirius’s. He rolled his hips up against Sirius and moaned when Sirius pushed his down. Once Harry started to get a bit more desperate in his movements, Sirius pulled back and started untying Harry’s pyjamas. He froze in confusion when Harry’s hands stilled him and looked up. 

“You never let me touch you.” 

Sirius wanted to shift uncomfortably but restrained himself. “I know.” 

Harry gave him a flat look. “Are you planning on that changing tonight?” 

His silence was enough of an answer. 

Harry made a small noise of annoyance and tapped Sirius’s side leadingly so he climbed off of him. He re-tied his partially undone bottoms and grabbed his glasses from the bedside table, but didn’t put them on, hesitatingly twirling them through his fingers while he thought. “Is this because of the age thing? Cause I have to say, that excuse is wearing thin. This is a relationship isn’t it?” He looked up at Sirius with pleading eyes. He kept looking until Sirius either confirmed or denied it. 

He nodded. 

“Then this is a partnership. We’re equals. You can’t just…” Harry tugged at his hair in frustration. 

“I don’t want you to feel pressured.” 

“Pressured?” he repeated incredulously. “You’ve never made me feel pressured to do anything, Sirius. I’ve told you before that I want this, and you keep making excuses. So no, it’s not because you don’t want me to feel pressured, although I’m sure you don’t. What is it?” 

“It feels like crossing a line. And I’m also nervous that--” He cut off with a gasp when Harry’s hand suddenly came between his legs and pressed. 

“There, is the line officially crossed?” Harry said fiercely. He started kneading his fingers down. “I want you Sirius, us going further isn’t going to suddenly change that.” 

Sirius nodded, somewhat frantically because he hadn’t had someone else touch him since before Azkaban and he’d forgotten how good it felt. 

Harry kissed him again, keeping up what his hand was doing as he guided Sirius to lay down. He slowly started to pull down Sirius’s pyjamas and pants, then broke off the kiss so he could see what he was doing. He thought about leaving them partially on but figured they could only get in the way and pulled them off completely and dropping them in a small pile on the floor. 

He settled between Sirius’s legs and brought his hand up to the mass of curls, far less sure of what to do than how he’d been acting up to this point. He managed to fake it well enough if the noises Sirius was making were any indication (though he was certain Sirius knew he was just guessing). 

After a minute, Harry licked his lips and gave into the desire to see what Sirius tasted like. He put his other hand on Sirius’s hip to help stabilise himself, and leant in, licking from one end to the next before Sirius could guess what he was going to do. 

Sirius gasped loudly and pushed towards Harry’s mouth automatically. 

Harry inhaled deeply and let out a shaky breath, making Sirius shudder under him. “Sirius?” he asked, not moving from where he was, forehead warm and sticky against Sirius’s sweaty abdomen. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted sheepishly. 

Harry felt a warm hand in his hair, comforting and seeming to convey ‘it’s okay’. 

“Tell me how?” His hand stroked high on Sirius’s thigh as he added, “Please?” 

Sirius did, his voice getting more and more strained as time went on, Harry enthusiastically following his directions until Sirius tensed and shuddered. 

Harry leaned back and wiped his mouth, looking at Sirius, whose eyes were slightly glazed, breathing heavily, and face flushed. His cock was achingly hard between his legs, rubbing off on the sheets having not brought him much satisfaction. He pulled himself out of his pants and finished quickly-- not that it ever took much persuasion in the first place. 

“Harry?” Sirius asked, voice hoarse. 

Harry’s breath hadn’t quite returned to normal when he replied. “Yeah?” 

Sirius held out his hand then led him up to lay next to Sirius. He kissed him slowly, enjoying the taste of himself on Harry before feeling a wash of guilt for it. 

“Don’t,” Harry ordered. “Don’t you  _ dare _ do that.” His voice got softer as he said, “Just be happy. Isn’t that what James would want for you?” 

Sirius made a grumpy face at him. “Definitely a Marauder’s kid, you are.” He sighed. “After he got done wanting to kill me, yes, he’d probably tell me to get over it and be happy.” His expression turned pensive. “It hurts you when I do that doesn’t it?” He looked at Harry, eyes penetrating. 

Harry nodded uncomfortably. He didn’t want to complain to Sirius, but he owed him the truth. 

“I’ll get better. Solemnly swear,” he vowed with a quirked smile. 


End file.
